Willy Wonka, Jr.

It feels far too much like a Friday for some reason, so I'm having trouble getting to sleep. And if the weather keeps up, I might not work tomorrow anyway...I actually sort of HOPE the weather keeps up. I'll be very upset if we had to cancel Willy Wonka and don't even get a snow day to show for it. I'm glad we at least got the school performance in this afternoon, but I WISH they had gone ahead and done the evening performance at 5 instead of trying to wait until 7. Apparently someone didn't want it changed to 5 and made a fuss, but all that did was get the whole thing postponed until (hopefully) Monday. Which is a real shame, since I know at least one kid who had a grandparent who drove in from a couple of states away just to see the show.

Still, I'm hopeful that we'll have a show to do Monday night...and I am so, so proud of these kids. I might have to sit backstage to help the tech crew get their cues for the next show, which will break my heart because I want to watch it again, but at least I got to see them do an amazing job at school this afternoon. They kept the story moving even with all the technical snafus, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Yesterday I told Scott that sometimes, I feel like Mary Poppins. I do a lot of contracted work, so I come in for a month or two or three, I put together a show or teach a camp or what have you...and then it's over, and I'm off to the next set of children. I get to stay with the same group of kids a little longer in my preschool classes, but none of them will be with me for more than a year because they'll outgrow the program, and they're so little, I don't even know if they'll remember me. It gets me down sometimes, because I always grow to love my kids. Especially my Wonkerers. At 5:15, I was just watching out the window in tears because I was so afraid my kids weren't going to get to have their second performance, and that I wasn't going to get to see any of them again when I didn't get a chance to give anyone a real goodbye. It really made me realize that I'm going to miss the hell out of these kids. I've seen them five days a week for months, and it's been such a positive experience for me...I can only hope that they've all had a positive experience, too.


I know it's all just part of being a teacher, and I know lots of teachers get attached to their students, especially in something like drama where you spend so much extra time creating a work of art with them. And I am glad that I get to work with so many different ages and ability levels doing contract work. But I do admit that sometimes, I envy some of my colleagues and friends who teach full-time without hopping from place to place. I imagine I wouldn't be so sad about this show ending if I didn't know that it'll probably be the last time I see any of these wonderful, talented kids. I just really hope that I've taught at least some of them something, because they've all taught me way more than I ever expected to learn in this process. I knew I was in for an awesome lesson in how to handle middle schoolers, but it's been so much more than that.

I think the most satisfying lesson actually happened today. I've teased the musical director about how she's the good cop and I'm the bad cop; we've worked incredibly well together, but I've always felt like I was being too tough on the cast. I didn't want to let them off the hook too much, though, because I know how kids can take advantage of a new person if given half the chance (I learned that lesson already and make it a point to start off strict). So I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still a little unsure of whether or not the cast actually liked me. I know, it's not important if the kids like you, what's really important is that they've learned something, but it's a really nice bonus when your students like you. I was seriously afraid I wouldn't make it to the afternoon show in time for the beginning today, so I wrote the cast a little note that Beth printed out for them to let them know just how proud I was and just how much I hoped I could get there in time. I wanted to let them know that I WOULD be there for at least part of the show, even if I was late, just in case any of them really were worried about the director being there.

I got my answer when I walked through the doors of the gym - they were onstage singing a warm-up song, and they all stopped singing and started screaming and cheering when they saw I had made it in time. I suddenly felt like I had accomplished something really good, and it wasn't the show. Honestly, the director can only do so much in making a show be good or bad, and the show today was good because the actors made it good. What I HAD accomplished was that I had earned the respect and affection of those wonderful kids. And then seeing them all give such terrific performances...I can only think of one other time off the top of my head that I've been that proud, and that was when I took a high school group to competition and a girl who had never acted before that show won a best actress award.

Okay, I'm starting to get wordy, and I'm basically just rambling on at this point. Let's see if getting all these thoughts out will help me sleep now!