My Montford Family

I've been wanting to write about this for a while now, and finally got around to it.

A little over five years ago, I stumbled across this amazing group of people. It's changed over the years; people have come and gone, for various reasons; friendships have formed and faded, dynamics have changed. It seems a bit narrowing to just refer to it as a Montford family, because few of us are strictly Montford-associated. Most everyone works with other theatre companies, and some are sort of "old-Montford" and don't really actively participate with that particular company any longer, mostly for benign reasons, different opportunities. But Montford is where a lot of us come together, and it's special. It's an association that stays. It's home.

I still remember when I first heard the term; I was at Usual Suspects, meeting up with some people I knew and some I didn't. I was very, very new to the whole community, and I didn't consider myself a full-fledged member by any means, yet. But then Steph introduced me to someone, and her exact words were, "This is Mandy - she's part of the Montford family." For some reason, hearing those words made me so, so happy and proud, because I already felt like these people were family. Hearing someone else confirm it was such a fantastic feeling.

We're like any other family, in a lot of ways. We bicker. We have falling-outs. We laugh together, go on outings together, spend time listening to one another over coffee and chocolate, whiskey and wine. We look out for each other. We celebrate milestones together, birthdays and weddings and babies.

Last month, I had two reminders of just how much of a family we all really are. The first was the passing of a dear member of our family. Kevin was never onstage, but he came faithfully to shows, he offered his companionship and support, and he loved. He was so good at loving, and it makes me smile just thinking about it. Kevin was one of the first people I met at Montford, celebrating Twelfth Night with a party in the green room on a cold January day. He had on a jester's hat. Later that night, several of us went to Usual Suspects; it was really my first time meeting most of these people, but I already felt so at ease with all of them...and I somehow already felt that Kevin, Travis, and Darren would feel like my brothers. They did, and do.

Losing one of those brothers was hard, but being with my Montford family during a lot of that time was somehow very beautiful. On Valentine's Day, we all came together at a service honoring Kevin. Old members and new, close and distant, we shared our grief together in the sort of quiet way that families do. I felt so, so blessed looking around that sanctuary and seeing that that family, so privileged to know these amazing people who don't just come for the happy times, but stick around for the sad, as well.

It happened that the show I was directing for CDS was playing the next night. Several members of that family came to see the show, which might not sound like a big deal. What was a big deal to me is that, by coming out, they were showing their support for the Montford people IN the show; David and his marvelous boys. They were doing just what a family does: supporting one another. They weren't just coming out to see a play; they were coming out to see Ben in a lead role, coming out because he is a part of that family.

Having those two experiences, flush up against one another like that, made me reflect on just how wonderful our community is. There's a quote from a play called Marvin's Room, a play I did in college; it's printed on our show T-shirts, and I remember at the time that no one wanted this particular quote on the shirt. We all thought another quote would have been a much better choice. We thought it didn't make sense out of context, even though in the scene, it does: the main character is talking about how she isn't lucky to have BEEN loved, she is lucky to HAVE loved. I never wear the shirt, because I hardly ever wear T-shirts. But that quote, the one none of us wanted, has stuck with me for all these years, and I always feel like it describes my feelings perfectly:

"I am so lucky to have loved so much."